Thursday, 5 July 2012


I have one sibling, a sister. Also 4 other cousin sisters. I am close to two of my sisters (my sibling and a cousin sister). I am the older sister and that has always been my role since my sister was born. I think only older sisters will get what i am saying. The younger siblings always say how lucky we are that we are seen as adults and they are always the kids. I guess there is some kind of merit to this argument, as they are always seen as the kids. But they fail to see that this 'being treated as an adult' is not really a choice on our part. It is thrust upon us ( as you can't really choose when and if your parents have another baby)

I am not saying i was not happy that i was going to have a baby sister/ brother when my parents told me. I was happy that i was going to have a companion and a friend. It has always been difficult for me to make friends, though it has become easier with the passing of time, so having a little sister was like a gift out of the blue. I was brought up in a joint family with the rest of my cousins so i was used to not having my parents all to my own. I was not bothered at all when they were more attentive to my sister.

It was great growing up with so many sisters. there were only 2 guys in my generation so it was a girls world in the family. Everywhere else it was a man's world but us sisters ruled the roost in this family. We were all treated equally. I learnt about being confident from my eldest sister and compassion from my 2nd eldest sister. My cousin and myself were born around the same time and she taught me the value of companionship. I learnt the meaning of fun from my youngest cousin and last but not the least i learnt ambition from my youngest sister.

We were as close as any other sisters when we were young. I took it upon myself that i would be her protector, as it was instilled in me that she was the youngest, the weak one. Anytime someone bullied her or teased her, her friends would rush to me and my vengeance would be quick. I didn't hover. I only intervened when i thought she could not handle it. We were both afraid of a doll that used to be by our bedside. I would wake up in the middle of the night and look straight at the doll. I would then turn away to find my sister doing the same. We used to soothe each other to sleep. Even our squabbles ( i call them squabbles now but they seemed more like battles when we were younger)  were between just the two of us. We never allowed our mother to interfere saying it was just between the two of us.

We are different in every way. Physically, emotionally and psychologically. She is very thin and gets sick often, whereas i am on the heftier side and don't get sick often enough ( I did not get to skip school or college due to illness. That is lucky i know but who wouldn't want an off from school or work?). She hates losing out to anyone,i.e., she is competitive whereas i am, according to my dad complacent, and hate to get out of my comfort zone.

We drifted apart for a while when i left home for college for about 6 years.Which was fortunate now that i look back. We were apart for most of our really rebellious teenage years. Now that we are together, living under the same roof, we have come to appreciate each others strengths and cover for each others weaknesses.

What i am trying to say is, though this role was thrust upon me, I have come to love my status as the older sister. All that I ask of all the younger sisters in the world is to not think of us as an authoritative figure who acts like an adult, but as normal kids who are just a few years older than you, who have gone through most of what you are currently going through.

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